As a creator, educator and coach, I decided to dive into certain concepts over a period of 5-6 days to educate and open people up to their own understanding and healing of their inner world. This week's topic is on THE EGO! Let's begin ...
"Only the truth of who you are, if realized,
will set you free".
OPENING OF THE EGO
I once thought when someone 'had an ego' that meant they were arrogant, over-confident, a show off or full of themselves. What I have learned is that can be true BUT there is a whole other part of the ego.
The ego, if left unconscious, causes constriction, pain and suffering in our lives.
This unconscious ego holds on to our past, makes us jealous, judgmental, depressed and fearful. It keeps us from knowing or even seeing our true selves.
The development of our ego was important to us as children when we were trying to figure out the world - who is safe, who is unsafe, what do I need to survive, what do I not need, what is mine, what is not mine. It becomes less important as adults because we now inherently know what is safe and what is unsafe.
As adults, the ego attaches to the 'I' and 'my'. It attaches to the past, possessions, achievements, ways of thinking, physical appearance, physical abilities. And there is nothing wrong with this.
It only becomes a problem if that's all that you know of yourself.
If that is all that you have to identify yourself and who you are.
Well, what is the ego exactly?
The ego is an identification with something. We get attached to the "I" - me and my stories - successes, failures, acquired/unacquired possessions, victim, successful, unsuccessful. This is no more than a collection of thoughts.
The question is: Are these collection of thoughts who I really am?
I think not, because I believe we can move into knowing ourselves at a deeper level ... If I do not become aware of who am I without the labels, the titles, the possessions, the past programming ... nothing is going to ever be enough.
You might be noticing this in your life today. It might be difficult to find peace in what you have at this moment. As one problem or issue is solved, another seems to rise in its place. The present moment feels constrictive, like you can't breathe at times, running from one thought - one person - one situation as quickly as possible.
This is the unawareness, the unconsciousness of the ego.
We will continue on with how to become aware of this part of the self; how to become more aware of who you truly are and what you truly want in this life; how to move from unconsciousness to consciousness, and so much more.
QUESTIONS TO RECOGNIZE THE EGO WITHIN These are some of the main questions I ask the leaders I work with when I notice they are unconsciously working from their egoic mind. And know, this can even be the most conscious of leaders. A lot of us (including myself) need someone to reflect back our egoic mind because it has been doing push ups most of our lives, and now we are taking its power away by bringing in unconditional awareness and presence.
Before asking yourself these questions, set the intention to answer them openly and honestly. Feel free to answer them and then go over them with a loved one, someone who knows you very well and will be honest to any feedback you might need. The Important Questions:
What do you identify with? Where do you find your identity?
Are you consistently comparing yourself?
Are you feeling superior or inferior to anyone? (Anytime we feel superior or inferior to anyone - this is always the ego).
Are you trying to position yourself around others? (Position yourself as more good looking, more educated, wealthier, etc).
Are you satisfied in your life? Does anything satisfy you?
Are you always looking for something more?
What do you react to or resent in others? (Because what we often react to or condemn in others, we sense within ourselves).
What part of you is disturbed by this? ('This' could be a person, co-worker, situation, comment).
These are some GREAT questions to take some time to become more aware with your own egoic patterns.
RECOGNIZING THE EGO - THE ROOMMATE IN OUR HEAD
CLICK HERE to view an 11 minute video to dive deeper into the following aspects:
+ The importance of becoming the Observer.
+ Learning how to take a step back from the ego and notice how it can be impacting your day to day life.
+ Steps to begin to work with the ego ...
1. Presence 2. Detaching from thoughts/opinions/labels 3. Acceptance
"Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists."
FEELING POSSESSED? OR AT PEACE? You've noticed. You've become aware. You're practicing un-attachment from your egoic thought patterns. You're also practicing presence, un-attachment and acceptance. Okay. Cool. What do we do now? 1. Make friends with the present moment. A lot of us can view the present moment as our enemy. We don't want to be where we are (at work, alone at home, at this event); we don't want to be with who we are with (family member, boss, co-worker). When we are in this disrupted state, we can feel possessed by our thoughts and our emotions ... "How the hell do I get out of here!? Why can't this person move more quickly!!? This idiot can't freakin' drive!!” Sound familiar? 2. Take attention away from the thinking mind ... To the breath. To the heart. Ask yourself - Is my heart still beating? Am I still breathing? This will bring you out of the thinking mind and into the body to practice PRESENCE. When you're feeling into the body you can go a little deeper by practicing EMBODIMENT - feeling the aliveness within your body. I like to start with my hands or feet - feeling how alive my body truly is. 3. Be open to EVERY experience that comes to you. Every experience that comes into our lives is there for a reason. Our ego does not think so. Our ego wants to keep us in our 'safe' bubble of craziness and identification we have made for ourselves. Every single experience is a gift. 4. Acceptance over Resistance When we are able to practice acceptance, we make peace with the moment, and are then able to take action from a state of peace, instead of reactivity. We are no longer reacting and being defensive. An action is much more powerful and effective when it's not defensive AND things are much more likely to work out when we are in a state of acceptance than in a state of resistance. Ask for guidance from someone you trust if this is new for you. Someone you know will reflect this way of thinking back to you non-judgmentally and openly. If you’re unsure who that person is for you. Scroll to the bottom for more information on how to work with me 1:1. This is the beginning of the work I do with my clients.
CLICK HERE for a 1 min body practice to SHIFT FROM THE MIND INTO THE BODY ... quickly.
This lovely article is here for you to bring more awareness around the egoic mind - questions to ask ourselves to become aware of our own ego; how to find peace with the ego; and now an exercise to come out of the thinking mind and into the body.
Get outside and try this practice out. Let me know how it goes!
If this article resonated with you and you are ready to dive deeper ... leave a comment or shoot me a message. The Evolved Masculine template has openings for a 1:1 journey working with me on the ego, perspective shifts, embodied leadership, spiritual awakening, trauma work, inner child work, energetic cleansing, and so much more.
Reach out today to begin this life altering work together!
. I give so much gratitude to my main teacher on the ego - Eckhart Tolle.
If you only read and apply 1 book this year - read his book A New Earth.
If you can read A New Earth AND listen to Oprah's Super Soul Conversation Podcast with Eckhart Tolle - that is even better! They go through each chapter together & have callers ask questions for Eckhart to clarify. They are wonderful together!
Sending you all the light and love today and everyday.
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